Kutte Ki Maut

Jaani jab Kutte Ki maut

ati hai.........To

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Wo Mar Jata hai.

Tum Tantion Mat lo.


Again Kutta

 Aise janvar ka naam
batao jo bilkul
kutte jaisa dikhata
hai
lekin sirf 3 pero par
chalta hai?






sacho



langada kutta

Love Letter

    In today's world of MBA's, the old fashioned Love-Letter is being replaced by such 'Corporate' Love-Letters, go ahead and read on.

Dearest Ms. _____,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since the 25th of December 2009. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 24th of December 2009 at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough, to be taken care of all your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without any further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Santa Short massage Jokes

 Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It's a girl 

An astronomer was watching

    the sky from his telescope
    Santa Singh was observing him,
    Suddenly a star falls,
    seeing that Santa Singh shouted,
    "Kya nishana lagaya hai!"



Banta:how did u got a new car? Santa:A girl drove me to a beach, took her cloth & and said: take what do u want & i took car banta: good yaar kapde ki karne si.

 

American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email.  Santa: In India, it is only with a female.

sardar1:Tell me a word consist of 100 letters
Banta: P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year. Bush - Wow! How Many? Manmohan Singh - 100 25 - OBC 25 - SC 20 - ST 5 - Handicapped 5 - Sports Persons 5 - Terrorist Affected 5 - Kashmiri Migrants 9 - Politicians and if possible 1 - Astronaut.

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.

Ek bar santa singh pagal ho jata hai, wo bar-2 kehta rehta hai ke gulel banunga chidi marunga.kuch saal pagal khane rehne ke baad woh theek ho jata hai. doctor uss se poochta hai ke ab kya karoge ?
santa: pehle main paise ikathe karke shaadi karunga, phir mere ladka hoga, ek saal baad main uska janamdin manaunga, janamdin par ussey bahut sare gift milenge. gift mein ek nikker bhi hogi, main uss nikker se elastic nikalunga,gulel banaunga aur chidi marunga.  

 

Gabbar: Arey o Sambha 
Sambha: Ji Sardar
Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?
Sambha: Do Sardar
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.
Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai
Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo par mera dimag to na khao.

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta? Maharoof

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
   Banta: Kya Goal mara.
    Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai.

Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.;)

 Santa (reading from book of facts):
"Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?
 

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaari.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaari.
 

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.



Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Titanic doob raha tha.
1 gore ne santa se pucha-dharti kitni dur hai.
Santa- 2kms.
Gore ne samnudr me jump laga k pucha-kis taraf.
Santa-NEECHE.........
 

There was a short note written on poster of adult movie.
"Under 18 are not allowed."
Santa saw this msg, what he did next time he came with 17 people along with him.

A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died.
SANTA went china 2 know thea meaning, that was-KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.


 A MAN TO HIS FRIEND-MAIN APNA PURSE GHAR PE BHUL AAYA MUJHE 1000 RS KI ZARURAT HAI
BANTA-DOST HI DOST KE KAM ATTA HAI YE LE 10 RS RIKSHA KAR KE PURSE LE AA.

A MAN TO SANTA-UR FRieND IS KISSING UR WIFE IN UR HOME
HE RUSHES TO HIS HOMEAND COME WITHIN HALF AN HOUR N SLAPPED THAT MAN N SAID-HE IS NOT MY FRIEND

 

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?

Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

 santa was looking at a painting of a naked women leaves covering her body
he asked that what he was doing he answered- waiting 4 autumn(SANTA BAHUT BADMASH HAI)


Sardar ne bhagwan se poocha
Kya mai aglejanam mai gadha ban sakta hun 


Bhagwaan ne jawab diya
.
.
Ek hi facility baar baar 
nahi milti
Moral- "Yaar ye galat baat hai bhagwaan ne aisa nai kahna Chahiye tha."