Santa to Pagal hai

Accident hua,

Bheed hui,

Santa ko age akar dekhne ka 

mauka chahiye tha.

To wo jor se chillaya- "Haay Mere Pitaji."

Sabne use age jaane diya- Dekha to 

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Kutta mara tha

Swami Nityanand -Joke

If you are with 1 Girl,

its ANAND

If you are with 2 Girls,
its MAHANAND

If you are with 3 Girls,
its PARAMANAND
If you are with many Girls,
then you must be ..

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�FD Swami NITYANAND !

Good News- Just Joke

Good  News   for the PUNE  People.

 

TAJMAHAL IS MOVING  FROM AGRA TO PUNE
don't believe ? huh..?
Ok... Scroll down to see the proof
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Good Job- Joke

Teacher - maine tum Logoo se kaha tha ki roj ek accha kaam karo. 

Kya kisi bacche ne aaj koi accha kaam kiya ?

Pappu- Ji Ham paanch bacchu ne milkar amma ko sadak paar karai.

Teacher - Very Good! Lekin yah to tum akele kar sakte the, Paanch log kyu?

Pappu- Sir, Wah sadak paar karne ko taiyaar nahi thi. Uthakar le jana pada.

Worlds most Deadly PJ's

Worlds most Deadly PJ's

1.  Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
     Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
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." 1 is neither composite nor prime"



2. Agar dava chahiye toh dhundo koi chemist....
   Agar dava chahiye toh dhundo koi chemist....

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My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST...


3.  yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
     yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....



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Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..


4.. Arj kiya hai..

   He is KISSING
   She is KISSING


    He is KISSING
   She is KISSING

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* * *Some text missing
* * *some text missing

5. woh mujhe chood ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
    woh mujhe chood ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
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ahun ahun ahun
ahun ahun ahun



6.mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
  mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
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 ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu...



7. Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
   Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
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aja aja dil nichode ....
raat ki matki phode...


8. mein yahan tu hai wahan...
    mein yahan tu hai wahan..
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LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...


9. Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
    Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
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"BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna...."


Emotional Shayari…
Arz kiya hai…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
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A for Apple B for Banana…
WAH WAH…!!
=======================================================================================
 
Arz kiya hai…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
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Aaj ho gayee hai past…
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Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Aaj ho gayee hai past…
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Offer valid till stocks last..  :-P
 =======================================================================================



 Arz kiya hai…
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng……
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng……
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Toh Bakri bhi maregi bakre ko seeng.
 =======================================================================================
 


Arz kiya hai…
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…
Wah-Wah, Wah-Wah…
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…
;
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Ki   Uske papa ne dekh liya aur ICU mai hosh aaya…
 =======================================================================================


Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
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Waah! Waah!
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Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

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"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"
  =======================================================================================

Teacher to student : 1 chiku ke ped pe 10 kele lage hai, usme se 5 aam gir gaye , to btao ab kitne angoor bache…

Raju : Sir 10 hathi bache…

Teacher:  Arrey waah, tumhe kaise pata chala




Raju : Kyunki aaj main tiffin mein methi ke pronthe laaya hun..
 =======================================================================================


Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach
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Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach
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.Asali masale sach sach
 MDH.....MDH ...!
 =======================================================================================


Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Propose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega?




!!!
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!!!
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Ek Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota hai Maine suna Hai............................................
 =======================================================================================

 A scientist disconnected his doorbell.......

can u guess why???

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try

think!!!

donno???
cuz
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!!!!!!!!

he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!!!!!!!!!
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Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter

Gaur farmaiye

Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter
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Ab hero Honda splendor 80 kilometer prati leter
 =======================================================================================


1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss

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Mutual funds are subjected to market risks……!!!!
  =======================================================================================

 
World’s most PAINFUL shayari…

Dil mai chubhi sui….

Arz kiya hai…

Dil mai chubhi sui…

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Uui uui, uui uui…

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack(u shud know

that)!

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Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take

four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built(think ahead).

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Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and

three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

A. Very large hands.(Good 1 na?)

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Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one

hand.

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Q.How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. He sleeps at night.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

A. Wet.(sorry abt this)

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Q. What looks like half an apple ?

A : The other half.

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Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?

A : Dinner.

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Q. What gets wet with drying ?

A : A towel.

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Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?

A : It caused a revolution.

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Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish ?

A : Because it has its own scales.

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Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?

A : Liquid

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Q: what is the opposite of Nagpanchmi?

A: Nag did not punch me. (This is an old 1)

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Q:now what is the inverse of Nagpanchmi?

Come on..

....................

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A: I punched Nag. (This is a new 1, ain't it?)

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Q:Chintu's mom has three sons.What is the name of the

other two?

A:Chin-1 & Chin-3 (This was the worst 1! )

 Some of the world's most deadly PJ's………… ……

FASHION

FASHION

BOY - TUMHARI KAMEEZ FATI HUI HAI.


GIRL - NAHI YE FASHION HAI...


BOY - KISNE FAADA.....


GIRL - MAINE KHUD..


BOY - ACHA KHUD FAADO TO FASHION ......



HUM FAADE TO POLICE STATION .....

Sardar's Party

SARDRO KI PARTY CHAL HAHI THI,


 DJ WALA BOLA KAB TAK DJ BJAU?


PARTY OWNER : TU 12 BJE TAK BJA DE USKE BAD TO YE SARDER LOG GENERATOR KI AAWAZ PE HI NACH LENGE
 

INTRODUCING T20 FORMAT IN EXAMS.................

Introducing T20 format in exams

*Reduce exam time by 1hr and marks by 50
 
*Introduce breaks after each 15 minutes
 
*Give free hit marks for unexpected

d questions
 
*first 30 minuts power play no supervisor in the class
 
*Cheer girls in every class they will dance when we take an additional sheet!!

Patni chalisa...

Namo-namo patni maharani,
Tumhari mahima koi na jane !

Humne samjha tum abla ho,
Par tum to sabse badi bala ho !

Jis din haath mein belan aave,
Us din pati khoob chillave !

Saare bed pe patni sove,
Pati beth farsh par rove !

Tumse hi ghar Mathura, Kaashi,
Aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi !

Patni chalisa jo nar gave,
Sab sukh chhod param dukh paave.!!

JUMPING A RED LIGHT

In the traffic court a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time.

A wild gleam came into the judge's eyes.

"You're a school teacher, eh?" he said. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a school teacher in this court. Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not drive through red lights' 500 times!"

Teachers and professors who are not so good at ENGLISH

These are some dialogs said by teachers and professors who are not so good at ENGLISH.


our class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

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once our Hindi teacher said...."i am going out of the world to America.."....lol...

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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

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don't..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. tried to switch the fan on but there was sum problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood...
write down your name and father of your name!!

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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

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"half of u go to the right, half of u go to the left n the remaining come behind me"......

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My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"


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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

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"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

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LIBRARIAN SCOLD ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

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our chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

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tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father

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"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

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our lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"i understand. u understand.computer how understand??

''ये पहली बार है!''

''ये पहली बार है!''

एक दंपत्ति ने जब अपनी शादी की 25 वीं वर्षगांठ मनाई तो एक स्थानीय समाचारपत्र का संवाददाता उनका साक्षात्कार लेने उनके घर जा पहुंचा। दरअसल वे दंपत्ति अपने शांतिपूर्ण और सुखमय विवाहित जीवन के लिये पूरे कस्बे में प्रसिध्द हो चुके थे। उनके बीच कभी कोई तकरार नाम मात्र के लिये भी नहीं हुई । संवाददाता उनके सुखी जीवन का राज जानने के लिये उत्सुक था।
पति ने बताया - हमारी शादी के फौरन बाद हमलोग हनीमून मनाने के लिये शिमला गये हुये थे। वहां हम लोगों ने घुड़सवारी की। मेरा घोड़ा तो ठीक था पर जिस घोड़े पर मेरी पत्नी सवार थी वह जरा सा नखरैल था। उसने दौड़ते दौड़ते अचानक मेरी पत्नी को नीचे गिरा दिया।
पत्नी ने घोड़े की पीठ पर हाथ फेरते हुये कहा - यह पहली बार है । और फिर उसी घोड़े पर सवार हो गई। थोड़ी दूर चलने के बाद घोड़े ने फिर उसे नीचे गिरा दिया।
पत्नी ने अबकी बार कहा - यह दूसरी बार है। और फिर उसी घोड़े पर सवार हो गई ।
तीसरी बार जब घोड़े ने उसे नीचे गिराया तो मेरी पत्नी ने घोड़े से कुछ नहीं कहा, बस अपने पर्स से पिस्तौल निकाली और घोड़े को गोली मार दी।
मैं अपनी पत्नी पर चिल्लाया - ''ये तुमने क्या किया ! तुमने एक बेजुबान जानवर को मार दिया......! क्या तुम पागल हो गई हो ?''
पत्नी ने मेरी तरफ देखा और कहा - ''ये पहली बार है!''

और बस, तभी से हमारी जिंदगी सुख और शान्ति से चल रही है।

" शांति को बुलाओ "

" शांति को बुलाओ "

एक हसबैंड अपनी वाइफ से - " शांति को बुलाओ "
वाइफ - "कौन वो हमारे काम वाली बाई"
हसबैंड - " हाँ"
वाइफ - "क्यों ?"
हसबैंड - "डाक्टर ने कहा है की गोली खावो और शांति के साथ सो जावो

The Art of Appraisal

The Art of Appraisal

Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average".

Kamal: What? How come 'average'?

Big Boss: Because...err...uhh...you lack domain knowledge.

Kamal: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.

Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.

Kamal: What???

Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.

Kamal: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.

Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything.

Kamal: Huh? *Confused*

Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.

Kamal: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication", you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?

Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well..I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.

Kamal: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*

Big Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it.

Kamal: *head spinning*

Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.

Kamal: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.

Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'.

Kamal: Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?

Big Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear.

Kamal: I'll try to understand. Go ahead.

Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets 'average', whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding'.

Kamal: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating?

Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.

Kamal: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding'?

Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!

WOMEN AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS..( 4 fun)

BEFORE MARRIAGE

BEFORE MARRIAGE

He: Yes. At last . It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She Have you ever cheated on me?

He: No! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get.

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy? I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes!

She: Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE....

Simply read from bottom to top.

~~!Main sadhu kyu banta~!~

                              Main sadhu kyu banta

Ek admi sadhu se bola,

Meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaya batayien na shadu ji…




Aur phir shadu ghusse me bole,

Abe saale upaya hota to main sadhu kyu banta..

Tujhme rab Dikhta hai

Chuhiya  Ne Hathi se kaha
"I LOVE YOU"

Hathi ne poocha
'tumne mujhme kya dekha jo pya kar baithi'

Chuhiya ne Ganesh ji ki photo Nikali aur boli
Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara mai kya karu

Beware: Boys are boys

getinfocity.blogspot.com


getinfocity.blogspot.com

How to deside?

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing.
Says Banta, “How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?”

Santa Singh replies, “I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours.”
So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too.

And the next day Banta Singh is worried and says, “I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours.”

The next night the kids cut the other horse’s ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc.

And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.

At last Banta says, “BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA”

Genious Sardar

Monday, May 3, 2010

Afraid that someone will stole your slippers?

Afraid that someone will take away your slippers when you leave them outside the place of worship?

Follow the same method as this genius sardar!
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Murga Sardar Tha.. Joke

Monday, May 3, 2010

Murga sardar tha…

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.

Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?

Waiter: Woh langra tha.

Sardar: Dil?

 04.jpg (5.56 KB. 128x106 - viewed 5 times.)

Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.

Sardar: Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga sardar tha…

Moral of the Joke- Sardar kisi bhi roop mai hon Sardar, Sardar hote hai. Singh is King.

I want toilet paper Joke

Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths’s (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids.

He asks Banta to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Banta goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.





Next week Banta finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids.

He asks Banta to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. Banta goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.

Next week Banta comes to Woolworth’s with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at Banta: “What the….! This is shit you…!” and Banta calmly replies: “Yes, and I want toilet paper”.

Globlization... Joke

Question : What is the truest definition of Globalization ?

Answer : Princess Diana's death.

Question : How come ?

Answer :An English princess with an

Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a

French tunnel, driving a

German car with a

Dutch engine, driven by a

Belgian who was drunk on

Scottish whisky: followed closely by

Italian Paparazzis in

Japanese motorcycles; treated by an

American doctor, using

Brazilian medicines.

And moreover this is sent to you by a

INDIAN,

using
American

(Bill Gates's) technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use

Taiwanese chips, and a

Korean monitor, assembled by

Bangladeshi workers in a

Singapore plant, transported by

PAKISTANI lorry-drivers, hijacked by

Indonesians, unloaded by

Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by

Mexican illegals.... . That, my friend, is   "Globalization"  

Latest Jokes On Sardar

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.


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Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:



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Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala

Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi

Kyun...

Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The

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Santa-Oye!what R U doing?

Banta-Recording this babys voice.

Santa-Why?

Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

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Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi

To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya

Aur Niche Likha

"COMING SOON”

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SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.

SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..


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Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver


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Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

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SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

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A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."

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Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:

Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?

Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.

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Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.

Dost: Gardanien q nai katin?


Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin...

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Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.
 Kamal: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.

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Computer Lesson:
 Kamal: Plz turn ON your computer

Sardar: OK kar liya.
 
 Kamal: Now Plz click on MY Computer.

Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?

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Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife: Kaun si movie thi?
Sardar: Apni shadi ki

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Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:

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Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.

New Alfabets

BAJAJ'S NEW CHEAPEST BIKE (For Rs.999 (like nano)..... !!!!!!! )

Bajaj's new Cheapest Bike For Rs.999 (like nano)..... !!!!!!! It has been a major hit in the market and is largely responsible for  changing the 'Two wheeler market' It will be introduced in Indian market in   31 July 2010 ...  I hope everyone wil come to office by  bike in few days..  Available in following option A) Kick Start B) Electric Start [/color] 1. 250 CC Speed + we can increase speed by pedaling 2. 24 hr Free Air Conditioner System 3. Leg break System as like Disc break in Pulsar 4. Without doubt it's going to win "Best Bike Of the Year 2009 "  Engine                    =      Air Cooled Front Brakes             =      N/A  Rear Brakes              =     130mm Drum    Front Tyre                =      2.75 X 18      Rear Tyre                 =      100/90 X 18  Wheelbase                =      1265mm      Ground Clearance       =      155mm    Dry Weight                =      50 Kg  Tank Capacity            =      No Need  Colours                     =      Brown    It has a admire look... : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

Ten Commandments

Ten Commandments






A long married couple came upon a wishing well.

The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,

"It really works!"

.

.

.

.

.



Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven.

But so are thunder and lightning.



Commandment 2

If you want your wife

to listen and pay strict attention

to every word you say;

talk in your sleep.



Commandment 3

Marriage is grand

-- and divorce is at least 100 grand!



Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage,

the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year,

the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year,

they both speak and the neighbours listen.



Commandment 5

When a man opens

the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is.



Commandment 6

Marriage is

when a man and woman become as one.

The trouble starts

when they try to decide which one.



Commandment 7

Before marriage,

a man will lie awake all night

thinking about something you say.

After marriage,

he will fall asleep before you finish.



Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife

who is beautiful,

understanding,

economical, and

a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.



Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.

That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.



Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married.

After that, he is finished.