Have a Great Fun: March 2010

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Clean Jokes- God V\s wife

 Jokes

Man: God se. Ghar se USA  tak

road banao! God: Mushkil hai, kuch aur bolo.

Man: Wife ko agyakari, Samajhdar banao. 

God: Road single banau ya double!
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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Joke-Girl In Bar

Very Funny Joke 

A girl in a bar

Walks 2 

bartender n puts

her finger near his lips...

Bartender kises all fingers.. then 

girl says

Tel your manager 

there is no soap in toilet.....

Long Drive

Girl: Hum Kahan ja

rahe hai ?

Boy: Long drive par...

Girl: How romantic pahle

kyu nai bataya ?

Boy: Mujhe bhi tab pata chala jab se break nai lag rhe....

Monday, March 29, 2010

Angry Parrot

Ek Acmi ne zoo mai 3

Languages balne wala tota dakha.

Jo English, Hindi aur Punjabi Bolta tha.

Usne 3 languages ka test karne ke lie pucha:

Who are you?

Tota: I am Parrot.

Admi: Tum Kaun Ho?

Main tota hun.

Tu kaun aa?

Tota: Teri maa da khasam saliya, ik wari samajh

nia unda, tota haan....

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Relationship. It’s a big word both literally and figuratively. It takes two people to make it work and ardently we try. We face it, go through it, fight it out, scream, love, remind, appreciate, play, text, poke and try to work it through. There are always some things better avoided while you are in one. Some things we do unconsciously and the ones we term ‘normal’ can have serious long term damages to our relationship.

1. Have a life. Doing things independently and by yourself sends out a message that you don’t have to spend every breathing moment with your partner. This makes your partner value you more for yes, being independent and having a life.

2. Get to know each other’s friends and try to be comfortable around them. At the same time, don’t neglect and ditch your own friends. When a relationship heads down, you’ll need their support.

3. Respect is very crucial. Mutual respect even more. Don’t indulge in things that will make your partner loose respect for you.

4. Space, space, space. While it’s great you guys are together, there’s no need to suffocate each other with umpteen texts and calling each other every 9 minutes.

5. Loosen up a bit and don’t take yourself too seriously. Likewise, don’t give......Continue Reading...

Love Across Religion

People are falling in love every minute somewhere all around the globe. This sentence is the only cliché in this article, I promise. It’s great except when the forces of society, history and stereotypes get in the way. Love across religion, color, caste, nationality, you name it, is still not accepted. Maybe times are changing, the only thing is, they’re not. Exceptions are okay, but the majority isn’t. Closer home, our people face objections and rejections purely because of caste/religion differences. Who would want to see the qualities of the person when religion isn’t the same, moreover love is not even considered here, isn’t it just something kids do, something they think they know but in reality don’t - Is what the ‘wise’ say.

What has religion got to do with love? So the person is from a different religion, some habits may be different, brought up differently, prays to a different God, in a different manner, yada, yada, yada. Still don’t see the connection really. Besides what has become of religion? Religion has come to be fused with politics, its molding of prejudice policies which come about as a result of lack of knowledge about nations, ignorance of historical information and general bias of a ‘pure’ nation in order to destroy the other ‘dirty’ side.

Knowing the person is the most essential in a situation like this (or any other for that matter) Putting religious issues aside, what is your relationship like? It’s important to assess the relationship as the world around you wouldn’t be a fan of you guys anyway. So it’s important so have something real, something solid there. One should obviously discuss issues before hand, if any and work it out smooth. With so many successful examples of inter-religious relationships and marriages around, there is little reason why these relationships won’t work out and stand the emotional blackmail of families. Continue Reading.....

This Is Love

You can't get life well in until you let go of your past failures and headaches. Everything is ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end. It's only the beginning...........

It hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally do meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. It's better to lose your pride for one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you. What do you do when the only person that can stop you crying, is the person that made you cry? We spend so much time looking for the right person to love... or finding fault with those we already love... when instead, we should be perfecting the love we give. Some thoughts are better left unsaid, some feelings are better left kept to you, but love has its way of expressing itself despite the silence. When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults... you don't look for answers... you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure.

In life, there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and who loves you in return. So once you have it, don't ever let go... The chance might never come your way again. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and you find that you still care for that person. You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth. If you love someone, put his name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever.

One who loves you truly, always thinks good of you, likes everything you like, likes the place you are, likes the pet you play with, likes the way you walk daily, prays for your success and respects each thoughts of yours. One, who loves you, cares you, can sacrifice everything even the love for your good and your wishes. And don't ever disappoint them coz they have the strength to accept every decisions of the beloved one. How do you treat a person if he takes you as an inspiration? Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back.

Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts; but if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. If you love someone, set it free, if it comes back it is yours, otherwise it was never yours. It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Never accept love if you can't give yourself in return. Never start a relationship you know you'll want to end eventually. Don't go for looks, it can deceive; don't go for wealth - even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because only a smile makes a dark day seem bright. Love comes to those who still hope even though. They've been disappointed; to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed; to those who still need love even though they've been hurt before? The beginning of love is to let those us Love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only our own reflection of ourselves that we find in them. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave your past as you turn the pages of life.

Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you wants to do. Never say goodbye when you still want to try - never give up when you still feel you can take it - never say you don't love that person anymore when you don't really want to let go. Friendship beings with a smile, love begins with dreams, Life ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on forgotten past.

You can't get life well in until you let go of your past failures and headaches. Everything is ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end. It's only the beginning........

What is Love

Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the Meaning Of love. But even the great philosophers, with their Profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In

A survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But What do little Kids know about love? Read on and be surprised That despite Their young and innocent minds, kids already Have a simple But deep grasp of That four-letter word.

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for

Her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.

That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way she says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but

You don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his Feelings."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired Of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss but they look happy and sometimes they dance in the kitchen while kissing."

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get

Surprised Because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more."

"There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

"Love is-if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the Cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Don't feel so bad if you don't have a boyfriend. There's lots of stuff you can do without one."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better.

I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you Should just find a nicer boy."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day"

"When you're born and see your mommy for the first time.

"Love is what makes people hide in the dark corners of movie theaters."

"Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up where you left off when you reach heaven."

"My enemies taught me how to love."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

"You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when you're married, you just sit around and read books together."

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."

"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

"You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to love, even If it's just a squirrel or a kitten."

"You can break love, but it won't die."

~Difference Between Love and Infatuation~

Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?

There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.

There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.

Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.

But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart.

Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.

It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

INFATUATION

Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint?

This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.

Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation.

This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if

you are truly in love.

LOVE

Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.

When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.

Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.

It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.

Love is Kind Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others..

It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.[/color]

You can do the following:

1. Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.

2. Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.

3. Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.

4. Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.

5. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget

about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.

6. Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.

7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful,cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.

8. Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.

9. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others.

Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

10. Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

11. Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.

12. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

13. Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.

14. Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been

wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.[/color]

** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins. **

Joke- छोड़ दो नशा

एक चीता Cigarette का सुट्टा लगाने ही वाला था की अचानक एक चूहा वहां आया और बोला :

" मेरे भाई छोड़ दो नशा , आओ मेरे साथ भागो देखो ये जंगल कितना खुबसूरत है , आओ मेरे साथ दुनिया देखो "
चीते ने एक लम्हा सोचा फिर चूहे के साथ दौड़ने लगा .

आगे एक हाथी अफीम पी रहा था , चूहा फिर बोला ,
" हाथी मेरे भाई छोड़ दो नशा , आओ मेरे साथ भागो , देखो ये जंगल कितना खुबसूरत है , आओ मेरे साथ दुनिया देखो "
हाथी भी साथ दौड़ने लगा .

आगे शेर whisky पीने की तैयारी कर रहा था , चूहे ने उसे भी वही कहा .
शेर ने ग्लास साइड पर रखा और चूहे को 5- 6 थप्पड़ मारे .

हाथी बोला , " अरे ये तो तुम्हे ज़िन्दगी की तरफ ले जा रहा है , क्यों मार रहे हो इस बेचारे को ?"
शेर बोला , " यह कमीना पिछली बार भी Bhang पी कर मुझे 3 घंटे जंगल मै घुमाता रहा
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Saturday, March 27, 2010

What if Chartered Accountants start producing Flicks???

1. Munnabhai C.A.

2. Hamara Ledger Aapke Paas Hai

3. Kaho na Depreciation Hai

4. Journal Se Balance Sheet Tak

5. Kabhi Credit Kabhi Debit

6. Hum Tax de Chuke Sanam

7. Kya Yehi Credit Period Hai?

8. Main A/cs ki Diwani Hoon

9. Maine Audit kiya

10. Maine Audit kyun kiya

11. Jab Jab Discount Mile

12. Petty Cash Apna Apna

13. Bill hai ke Pass hota nahin

14. Hum hai Accountant bekaar ke

15. Jo Tally hua wohi Trial Balance

16. Bus itna as BYAZ (Interest) hai

19. Tally 7.2 instal karke rakhna

20. Ab tumahare hawale pura account saathiyo

21. Balance sheet ki kasam

22. Kyu Tally ho gaya na

24. Calculator sirf mere liye

27. Salary ke liye saala kuchh bhi karega

28. Accountant tune kya kiya

29. Rehna hai tally karke

30. Bill Vill Byaz Vyaz

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Gabbar V\s Veeru

gabbar : aaj maine basanti ko nahate hue dekha

viru : kutte kamine main tera khoon pi jayunga

gabbar : kaminey main naha raha tha
basanti ja rahi thi

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3 Facts Of Life

3 Hard facts...

1) You can control your breath...
but not death

2)you can control your life.....
but not wife

And
3ed is

you can control your emotions
But not.....

Loose motions...

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लड़के छेड़ते हैं

लड़की अपनी दादी से : मैं स्कूल नहीं जाऊंगी।

दादी: क्यों?

लड़की: रास्ते में लड़के छेड़ते हैं।

दादी: बहाने मत बना और स्कूल जा। मैं भी रोज उसी रास्ते से बाजार जाती हूं, मुझे तो कोई लड़का नहीं छेड़ता

हाहाहा अब दादी ने कोण समझाए यो उमार ते यमराज ही तन्ने छेड़ेगा!

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Jokes For Smart Kids

Kids Are Quick

____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

________________________________ ____________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right..... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

______________ ___________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

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Heaven Or Hell

एक करोड़पति आदमी मर गया और स्वर्ग का दरवाजा खटखटा कर बोला- मुझे स्वर्ग में प्रवेश चाहिए।

देव- स्वर्ग में रहने लायक तुमने कौन-सा काम किया है?

करोड़पति- मैंने एक भूखी भिखारिन को दो रुपए दिए थे। और एक घायल बच्चे को एक रुपया भी दिया था।

देव (दूसरे देव से)- इसके तीन रुपए लौटा कर नरक में भेज दो

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Funny Pics - My MBA Has Complete Successfully

Hi, I am happy to inform you that I have completed my MBA Degree. I am sorry if u got surprised by knowing, about my part time MBA (Operations) , all of a sudden. I was a bit embarrassed about telling this to all of you.

Actually I was trying for it since long time. I used to work very hard for it late nights. I'm glad that finally it all turned out well. I plan to pursue my studies in this regard further.

I have scanned the certificate and pasted below so that u can have a look :

Please drive carefully

Mouse For Ladies

will she work now

Reshmi Julfai

Funny Pics - Internet User

Funny Pics - Perfect @ Work Station

Computer Technology

Funny Images - Headphone

Friday, March 26, 2010

Funny Pics- Cool

Funny Pics- Global Warming

Funny Pics- Waiting FGor Someone

Funny Pics- Toilet Paper

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Funny Images- Please don't mind

With complete respect for all ladies, Just for fun

NEW Dictionary -- joke

"Classic definition & Cool Meanings in new dictionary "

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage .

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist : - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails..

For More Jokes Click Here

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Sardar In Oxfort University

1 Sardar Oxford University
mai professor tha...
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Niche kya dhoond rahe ho joke to upar tha.!

For More Jokes Click Here

No hard Feeling- Ye undar ki baat hai

Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
Paisa apka ... Faisla apka ...

"Funny but true fact !!
A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband,
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! ..
What do u say? Huh?

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A Man before marriage is - Superman.
After Marriage - Gentleman.
5 Years Later - Watchman.
10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.

Life may hamesha Haste raho, muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho...
thaki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye kiآ…آ…آ…آ…آ…
Tum... "KUWARE" hoآ…..

Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....
KHUSH RAHO

Wife - Shadi ki raat tum ne jab mera ghunghat uthaya to kaisi lagti thi..
Husband - Mai to mar hi jata agar mujhe hanuman chalisa na yaad hoti..!!

Why love marriage is better than Arranged? Huh?

B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better than an "UNKNOWN GHOST".

Wife: main tumhari yaad mein Bees din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: Bees din aur ruk jaao.

A man gave an add in Matrimonial column "PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying:- "Meri Le Ja...!", ''Meri Le Ja...!''

Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband: "Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

Every person is a FREEDOM FIGHTER ........ Immediately after Marriage!!

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man.
Good Luck!

Woh kahte hain ki hamari biwi swarg ki Apsara hai,
Hum ne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai, hamari to abhi Jinda hai...

For More Jokes Click Here

Funny Office Quotes

"If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter." "His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours."

"Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free."

"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job."

"Any organization is like a septic tank. The really big chunks rise to the top."

"Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job."

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

"People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it."

"I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back."

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"Conway's Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on - This person must be fired."

"The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit."

"The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more."

"The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does."