Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
Donon mar gaye khatam kahani
Ek tha Raja…Ek thi Rani…
Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.
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Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho??? Bola na kahani khatam.
Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.
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Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho??? Bola na kahani khatam.
Phone ki ganti baji
Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again
Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.
Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.
Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!
Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.
Rabert : Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message.
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.
Rabert : Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai?
Ajit : Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!
Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.
Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!
Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.
Rabert : Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message.
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.
Rabert : Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai?
Ajit : Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!
Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai
Ek aadmi doosrey aadmi sey bola:
“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”
Doosra Aadmi bola:
“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”
“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”
Doosra Aadmi bola:
“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”
The man also wanted custody of his child
A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’
Hai koi jawaab???
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’
Hai koi jawaab???
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks, kya hai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?
Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun
Somebody stops him and asks, kya hai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?
Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun
Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai
Mayawati came to Lalu’s house with a goat…
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho?
Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho?
Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki
Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.
Aja moray balma tera intezar hai
Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.
Girl of 2010 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra, teesra bhi tayyar hai.
Girl of 2010 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra, teesra bhi tayyar hai.
Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya
A Sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.
Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”
Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!
Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”
Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!
Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya
Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare.
Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…
“Sahebji, sahebji kutte’ji’ ne murgi’ji’ ko pakar liya hai”
Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…
“Sahebji, sahebji kutte’ji’ ne murgi’ji’ ko pakar liya hai”
aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho
Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…
Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?
Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?
Delhi se Mughalsarai
Delhi se Mughalsarai jaanewali ek train mein kuch budhyijibi type ke log sawar thy..
Woh log jor jorse antarrashtriya stor ke batien kar rahe thhe.
Upar ke birth par so rahe ek brahmin ko bahut pareshani ho rahi thhi.
Batien karte karte ek sajjan bole, “pahle punjibaad aya, fir samyabaad aur aab samajbaad ayega.”
Tabhi upar se woh vyakti chillaya, “bhaisaab jab Ilahabaad aye to mujhe thora jaga dena!!!”
Woh log jor jorse antarrashtriya stor ke batien kar rahe thhe.
Upar ke birth par so rahe ek brahmin ko bahut pareshani ho rahi thhi.
Batien karte karte ek sajjan bole, “pahle punjibaad aya, fir samyabaad aur aab samajbaad ayega.”
Tabhi upar se woh vyakti chillaya, “bhaisaab jab Ilahabaad aye to mujhe thora jaga dena!!!”
Hey Raba please protect the small boy
There were 2 Sardar Jees going for fishing. One of the Sardar Jee notices a boy drowning. He looks up to the sky and says “Hey Raba please protect the small boy“
The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.
When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him.
The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“
The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“
The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.
When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him.
The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“
The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“
There was just one cinema theater
There was just one cinema theater in the Village. The village people, though backward were very patriotic.
In fact as a cinema screen the owner of the theater had installed a khaadi dhoti. The villagers were very happy with the idea of a khaadi dhoti screen. They decided to dedicate the theater to Mahatma Gandhiji, and named the theatre: GANDHI KEE DHOTI
Some of the Up coming attractions at GANDHI KEE DHOTI as advertised in the
local newspaper were:
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein KACHHE DHAGE
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein HAL-CHAL
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Daraar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Chuppa Rustom
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Baazigar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Do Jasoos
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Aandhi
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Garam Hawaa
In fact as a cinema screen the owner of the theater had installed a khaadi dhoti. The villagers were very happy with the idea of a khaadi dhoti screen. They decided to dedicate the theater to Mahatma Gandhiji, and named the theatre: GANDHI KEE DHOTI
Some of the Up coming attractions at GANDHI KEE DHOTI as advertised in the
local newspaper were:
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein KACHHE DHAGE
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein HAL-CHAL
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Daraar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Chuppa Rustom
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Baazigar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Do Jasoos
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Aandhi
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Garam Hawaa
Name of your car
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
Speed itni kyon badha di
Sardar : O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?
Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!
Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!
Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri : Ka karat ho?
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.
Yaar maine apni girl friend
SARDAR : Yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya du?
2ND : Gold ring de de.
1ST : koi badi cheez bata.
2ND : M.R.F ka tyre de de.
2ND : Gold ring de de.
1ST : koi badi cheez bata.
2ND : M.R.F ka tyre de de.
A donkey kicked sardar
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.
He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.
Puttar maang maang
Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki. Shivji khush hue… Prakat hue… Bole…
Puttar maang maang… kya chahiye tujhey !
Bakth utha … bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do!
Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai? Unhone kaha puttar tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai. kuch bada maang!
Wo fir bola nahi ji mujhey to aap guitar hi do!
Shivji ne phir samajhaya abey kuch dhang ka maang!
Par wo bola, nahi aap to mujhey guitar hi do!
Shivji uskey pao main gir gaye bole yaar tu kuch aur maang. guitar na maang…
Wo bola nai nai nai !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye.
Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye ..bole , abey agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata phirta???
Puttar maang maang… kya chahiye tujhey !
Bakth utha … bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do!
Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai? Unhone kaha puttar tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai. kuch bada maang!
Wo fir bola nahi ji mujhey to aap guitar hi do!
Shivji ne phir samajhaya abey kuch dhang ka maang!
Par wo bola, nahi aap to mujhey guitar hi do!
Shivji uskey pao main gir gaye bole yaar tu kuch aur maang. guitar na maang…
Wo bola nai nai nai !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye.
Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye ..bole , abey agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata phirta???
Ek pathan
Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
impossible word
Nepolian ek Sardarji ko bade garv se kehata hai : Mere dictionary mein impossible word hi nahi hai.
Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le.
Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le.
Beta papa se
Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai
Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!
Pairo par khada kar dega!
Krish: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!
Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?
Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.
Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?
Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.
Operation ki thodi der baad hi marij mar gaya
Nayi(new) doctor ne apni life ka pehla operation kiya! Operation ki thodi der baad hi marij mar gaya!
Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh pehli bhet swikar kijiye!
Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh pehli bhet swikar kijiye!
